From fun to tears

The Pekas Bed and Breakfast is once again open for business!  (And, may I add, quite clean, as a friend from work watched my kiddos while I cleaned and got caught up on life for 4 hours.  Thank you!)

My good friend from Nursing School, Katie, and her ornery husband Pete flew in Wednesday morning.  Jenssen has been enjoying his new buddies, quickly requesting Pete to read his series of digger and loader books from Aunt Cori.  Don't you dare skip a page with that kid, he knows, and he will make you re-read it.

That afternoon they took a flight tour.  I came a little early to pick them up so Jenssen could enjoy the sight of flight.  It worked out perfect.  Rowan took a snooze in the truck, while Jenssen and I sat on the tail bed watching the float planes take off and land.  It was difficult to keep him from trying to get down and go over to a plane to get in, but I brought snacks for a distraction.

It was a beautiful day, and this one was happy boy.

I got a text from another friend at work, that termination dust was upon us.  If you remember from last year (wow... I'm a total local now!) termination dust is the dusting of snow on the tips of the mountains that tells us we are in a downhill slide to winter.  This made me stop and realize how fast this summer has gone.  Rowan has grown from newborn to baby, Jenssen has became a little boy, and we only have 2 months left until the deployment.

Maybe it is that Rowan is my second kid, or I'm older, but I can't believe how fast he is growing up!  Soon I will start baby food, he will be crawling, and we will be "re-baby proofing!"  It seems like it took Jenssen forever to get to that point.  I guess the days during a deployment go a lot slower than the days leading up to one, hence Jenssen's first year dragging on and Rowan's flying by.  All the more reason to take each day one at a time, enjoying and savoring each moment.

Speaking of enjoying the days, Justin has been having a grand old time at JRTC.  During a training exercise he received a pretty serious wound... "a shot to the ass" is the text I got.  Many things ran through my head.

1.  They use live fire at training?
2.  What! He got shot?
3.  Is he okay?
4.  Will he have to sit on a donut for months now?
5.  Didn't Forest Gump get shot in the butt?

When he then sent me this pic....

Apparently they use a laser system that then can be downloaded and report on injuries.  The report said Justin was hit 5 times in the ass.  He had a medic tape him up and went on his way.  I think Justin needs to work on cover, and the medic may want to work on his wound wrapping skills.

The heat is clearly getting to him.

I had my first Jenssen moment induced tears tonight.  During my mad cleaning day, I cleared off a shelf in the boy's room that had some picture frames, mementos, and other random things I want out of Jenssen's reach.  I had two service pictures of Justin up there.  I kept the one that said "My Hero" and took the other off the shelf.  I got distracted by something shinny I'm sure, and set the frame under the lamp on the bookshelf.  Tonight when we were putting on our PJ's, Jenssen looked up near the lamp and saw the soft light shinning on daddy.  He began to say in a small voice "Daddy?"  I told him daddy wasn't here, he was at work.  He again said "daddy?" with a little more quiver in his voice.  He then pointed to the picture and continued to say daddy.  When I again said he was at work he started to cry.

I knew this moment would come, but still I didn't know how to react.  Two and a half is hard age to understand daddy left for more than a day.  I wanted to assure him that daddy was at work and would be home soon, but all I could think of was "better get used to it bud".  What an ugly thought.  So many military kiddos these days face these emotions and much more as they want more than just a picture for daddy.  An overwhelming feeling came upon me as I realized nights like this are a real possibility for us very soon.  Instead, I directed Jenssen to his daddy doll, and we gave daddy hugs and kisses, and talked about daddy.  We ended up deciding that when daddy came home, Jenssen and daddy would go get their hair cut together, then get ice cream.  All was better, for the moment. 

I'd like to say that I found a way to turn the situation into a huge positive learning experience.  But I didn't.  As I kissed Jenssen good night, clutching his daddy doll, and carried Rowan up the stairs, all I could think of was how much this deployment was going to suck, and how much I don't want Justin to go.

I as type this, I again remind myself that it is his job, and many brave mommy's and daddy's like him have to leave too.  Yup, it sucks, and someone has tho do it.  I guess all I can do is pray that if we must go through it, we are given the strength and support we need. 

God has never let me down in that department!

(in answer to the poll question, looks like the majority thinks I should move the brood home if we deploy.  A few think MTV's Teen Mom is a possibility.  I'm pretty sure I'll be moving back, but to please those 3 readers, I'll video tape any drama between me and my baby daddy...)